You know you’ve worked too long at your job when…

…you get hit on by a customer you’ve been waiting on for years and know most of his personal life. Yea, wasn’t I a lucky duck today?

I went in to work today to deal with cluster fuck of problems.

I’m having surgery on my tonsils on Tues and the doctor wanted me to have 10 days of recovery, so I took 10 days off from work, the 16th-26th. Well then, more things came up.

I didn’t think to ask to work earlier in the day on Monday, because I can’t eat after midnight, and I usually work until midnight. I’d like to eat before I can no longer eat, so I switched with someone so I can get out of work early and be able to have a dinner and snack before bed.

My mom didn’t think to ask for the night off, because she has to drive me early in the morning to be knocked out (again for the 2nd time this year, and the 4th time in the past 3 years.) at the hospital. So we had to switch her schedule too, just to drive everyone nuts.

Apparently the person who does the schedule was in a bad mood, so we avoided him and went to another manager during work to deal with the switching. It really isn’t a big deal, but I don’t want to deal with my boss’s wrath. I’m all set thank you. The people we switched with were willing, so it made my life easier.

I was given a million yellow shirts; I just needed one, not five.

I saw my friend Burke for the first time in a long time and we chit chatted across the way, when I saw “Aids”.

We call this guy “Aids” because he has huge hearing aids out of his ears, because he’s partially deaf.

I’ve known this guy before I even worked at Stop and Shop, he’s been a regular customer for years and a pain in the ass. We knew his now ex-wife, daughter and now grand kid, and he was an usher at my mom’s ex-boyfriend’s church. The dude is near his 50’s. He lives in the same city as me, unfortunately.

A few weeks ago, my sister and I were shopping when he was congratulating me on graduating from college. He then told me what he did on his graduating day or whatever, and he says to me “we should take a trip sometime”. So I thought he was joking, and he followed me around a bit and I told my sister “I think he’s trying to hit on me”, so we left him in the dust. We waited until he left so we could check out.

 Today he comes in, and I have a big order, and he has 3 cans of cat food and bottle returns. I was hoping he would leave, but instead he stays. I had a feeling he was going to hit on me again.

So he goes “Me and my friend are having a party this weekend, wanna come?” I told him I would be working all weekend. “Well, when are you free?” (I’m like dude leave me the fuck alone) But I told him I was busy and getting my tonsils out, so I would be out of work for a while.  He was like aww no partying for a while and I’m like no partying or drinking. He also asked me for my number, which I lied and said my phone’s broken and I have to get a new one.

I got him to leave, but I told my coworkers and my mom. This is ridiculous. If I was anywhere else, I could’ve told him off in the meanest way possible. But I had to be nice because I was at work. I was so pissed.

He hits on me one more time, I’m getting a restraining order. I wonder if his next move is to assault me. He’s fucking creepy and I don’t like it. He’s cool as a customer friendship type deal, not a pervert like he’s being now. I don’t know if it’s because his wife left him (although I heard they still live together, what the fuck?) and he’s lonely or whatever, but don’t come near me. I don’t want you or your damn baggage.

I really need to get out of Stop and Shop, or at least out of this area. I can’t take this anymore. Between dealing with stupid customers and mean people and shit like this, I’m gonna go nuts. Not that it doesn’t happen anywhere else, but I rather work in a smaller enviroment that is a bit safer at least.

So, I think from now on if I leave work without my mom or someone else, I’m asking to get walked out with someone. And I think if I see him again I’m going to have someone take over my register so I don’t deal with him. I hope to God I don’t need to call my lawyer and deal with this man.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

I have worked the past five days, and thank God I got a day off today. I’ve had it up to here with people.

A couple of days ago, there were two guys in my line buying stuff for a cookout. Steph was in the line in front of me, and the guy wanted cheaper hamburger buns. He sent his friend to get it, and got the wrong ones, so the guy went to get him. His friend goes, “God, would’ve paid the extra 40 cents. I don’t know why I go with him, he’s not a good friend. Seriously. I don’t know why I’m friends with him.” Well, Stephanie starts cracking up laughing, and I was just in my Oh My God I can’t believe you said that phase. My mom turns around to asks what happened, and we were like “we’ll tell you later”.

He ended up getting one set of buns and they left.

Then one night, I was sitting at Citizen’s Bank on a chair, since my legs were killing me and there weren’t many customers. It was near the end of the night. I’m sitting there and this guy is yelling “hello! hello!” (I’m like dude, seriously, there is only one light on, are you fucking blind?) So I get up and point as I hobble over there in pain.

So I look at his shirt, which is something I saw online and thought it was cool. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So while I’m making small talk he was just being an asshole. His wife came up and Brownie was bagging for me and she recognized him. So I told Brownie that I thought the guy’s shirt was cool,and he was like “what are you gonna do next, ask me if I’m Indian?” I’m like dude calm the fuck down.

Such a dick.

Then yesterday, both Nick’s were bagging for me, and this couple and the girl’s father were buying stuff. So the boyfriend went to pay, and the father was like “no, I’m paying” and went back and forth. The boyfriend ended up paying, but the father shoved money into his daughter’s hands. When the father turned around, she shoved the money in his butt pocket.  Then the convo goes like this:

Father: “you guys would like it if we gave it to you.”

Me, Nick and Nick: “Yea, we could use it”

Father (talking to Nick with the long hair) “Yea you can use it for a haircut”

Nick (after they leave) “Such an asshole. He needs it for Rogaine.”

LOL

I don’t know what’s with customers lately, or at all actually. If someone is standing at a register, and a light is on, then obviously I’m open. There was one day where I was literally asked every time if I was open. No, I’m just standing there with a fucking yellow shirt, ugly black apron looking like a fucking bumble bee for shits and giggles. Of course I’m fucking open. DUHHHHHHHHHH.

 I don’t know what’s up with certain people, but I do not understand why we shined our registers with baby oil. There was this one night that I don’t know which manager had the brains to have us shine our registers with baby oil. It doesn’t dry. And they baby oiled my mom’s register, so customers were getting their food and stuff covered in baby oil. I don’t know about you, but I sure in hell do not want my shit covered in fucking baby oil. It may feel “dry”, but really, it’s still wet and gliding on stuff.

Oh, and customers are really disgusting. If you’re not feeling good, stay the fuck home.  A couple of nights ago, all the sudden I see all the CSS’s running around trying to figure out something with the bathroom. I went in the women’s bathroom, and low and behold, in the second stall, which got broken last week and repaired, got covered in shit. I don’t mean just the toilet, shit was all over the walls and the stall and the rest of the toilet. Someone had a serious explosive ass, and didn’t sit down in time. Unless it was one of those squatters.

I hate squatters.

I hate squatters and I hate the parents who teach their kids how to squat. SIT ON THE FUCKING TOILET. The toilet wouldn’t be disgusting and get piss and shit all over it if you fucking people sat your ass on it. And don’t use your feet to flush the toilet, you can always wash your hands. God knows where the fuck your feet have been or what you stepped in. Do the classy way that was taught in all those potty training books. Sit on the toilet, do your business, wash your hands and dry them. Call it a fucking day.

I’m sure I have more to say, but it will come another day.

Time warped in the 70’s, Welcome to 2009

Wow. I have not updated in a long time. So sorry.

I had some special people today. By the way, I’m back in the Seekonk store, finally left the East Longmeadow for good. YAY!

So, I had to go on register 4, which I wasn’t thrilled about because I figured at some point I would get express. But I didn’t.  I got self scan instead later.

One of my first customers were these weird women.  I believe it was a mother/daughter team. The daughter was about maybe 40ish, and the mother maybe in her 60’s. They gave me these coupons from the 70’s. Legit 70’s. They were those coupons that never expire, ever.  One coupon was technically 30 cents of a glass jar of Welches Grape Juice, which we do still sell, 30 years later, but she gave me a regular refrigerated carton instead. I just let it through, but I tried to tell her what it was really for and she would not have it. Another coupon was for $1 off a carton of orange juice, also from the 70’s. The daughter got really excited over what she saved. She didn’t have a card, so I put one in for her. She used a gift card, in which she thought she saved more money because of it, but it was because I used a store card. She had me in such a tizzy. The way she acted I swore I stepped back into the ’70’s.

Then I had her mother. She was just as bad. They kept repeating themselves about “oh how much I saved” and “these coupons are from the ’70’s, because back then they didn’t expire, nowadays they do.” Near the end, after literally handing me her items two at a time, she gave me more old coupons along with some current ones. I had to hand her back coupons because you’re only allowed one coupon per item(s), depending on the coupon on. If you have a dollar off something and a 20 cent coupon for the same product, you can only use one.

Well, trying to explain that to this customer was a joke. “But there was a coupon on the box.” “Yes ma’am, but you can only use one or another. You have have  only one box and two coupons; I can only use one, and I will use the higher one.” “But there was a coupon on the box.” “Right ma’am, but I can only use one; those are the rules, I can’t make it work.”

To top it off, the daughter chimed in “Can I make a suggestion? Can they put paper bags for the corn? Those corn bags don’t hold the corn” (The way she said this sounded like a first grader trying to tell a teacher something)

“Ma’am, that’s something to tell produce. I have nothing to do with that, and we have corn bags for a reason.”

The look on her face was priceless. She wanted to know how much she saved, which was about $38, including card savings. Of course, I used my card, in which if she had her own and was a true saver, she could be getting gas points to save money off her gas at Stop and Shop stations. But she lives in the ’70’s, so we won’t go there. I wouldn’t be surprised if she still goes through full service stations because she doesn’t know how to pump her own gas. LOL.

They were real winners, and really dippy. The woman behind her was annoyed, and she was like “just smile”. Yea, no. Fuck this shit. I have a BA in English and a minor in Philosophy, and probably more intelligent than half the dimwits I work with and customers, and you want me to smile? Fuck no.

Then I had another lady argue with me about 20 cents off. I rang up these local bakery rolls that get delivered to our store that we sell as well. It rang up $2.59, and the sticker was labeled $2.39.  “But the sticker is one there. (Bitch, it isn’t even OUR store sticker, for fucking crying out loud.) So I save the woman 40 cents because she had two of them. Really? 40 cent? That won’t even buy a small pack of gum. Jesus. I know we are in a recession, but worry about dollars, not cents, especially under 50 cents.

I’m sure I have more stories, but I can’t remember right now. But I will leave you all with this absolutely hilarious one.

My last day at the East Longmeadow store, my first customer was this lady, who was upset by the price of rice cakes, that rang up $2 instead of $1.50. (Again, one of those idiotic penny pincher extremists.) She went back to look at the price (because I had special needs baggers that would take an hour just to find what aisle it’s in) and she goes “It’s like a maze over there. I can’t figure out those signs, and I see arrows point down. I have a masters degree and I can’t even read these signs. It’s really confusing for the customer and they need to fix it.” She was pissed.

I said nothing, however, I thought “Lady, I’m going to have a BA in English and a minor in Philosophy in about 4 days, and I can read those signs. I guess you missed the class ‘Common Sense 101′. Those signs really aren’t confusing.”

They really aren’t. If you read the sign, it says what size, SB means store brand, and price and the signs are there the way the chart has them, which aren’t drawn up by us. It really isn’t that hard. Honestly, it’s because people these days are in such a fucking rush, they can’t be bothered to glance to make sure they are reading the right sign. Take the time, so you don’t wait in line. Honestly, if I were to observe and do an experiment on this very subject, I’m pretty sure 90% of the time wasted in line because of an argument over a price is because of a customer’s stupidity. And if you want to know why the prices of things go up, it’s not just because people steal or the gas;  it’s because people can’t be bothered to read, then we give stuff away for free or reduced price, so then the manufacturers lose money and up the prices of everything to make up for loss, and then you customers bitch about the prices. I don’t want to hear it.

New Facebook Group-PANT-People Against New Technology

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=60987189603&ref=mf

While I was at work, I was inudated with these stupid Easy Scan It’s. We have people showing others how to use it, and I got fed up with it. Most people realized despite what those idiots tell them in a sense it does take away job. It may add more “technology jobs”, but it takes away jobs from 16 year olds and elderly but not close to retirement or can’t retire people or people looking for second or third jobs.

It also steals from the company. Those people who choose to scan the bar codes the get from a machine in the produce section, those scales aren’t necessarily set right. Even if it is off a cent, either direction, you are essentially over time taking money from the store, and prices will go up. Or if it is in the company’s favor, then the consumer loses out.

It costs more money too. The average cashier at Stop and Shop makes about $10,000 a year (give or take). One self scan costs $10,000. Nevermind insurance or warranties that may come with it. Nevermind the extra cost outside of a warranty if the self scan breaks. One Easy Scan it costs $100. There is approximently 100 of those total in each store. I’m not sure of the cost of the unit to recharge them, but I’m sure it’s up in the $1000 mark or so. And the TV to replay the commerical on how to use it? At least $1000.

It costs more to have those things than to get a bagger and cashier. Even with raises and time and a half and holiday pay, it flucuates, but it’s less costlier than a self scan. Also less annoying, a person doesn’t break down in the middle of an order and so forth. And you can have people help you, self scan and easy buddies you do shit yourself.

I made a group on facebook, not to do much about it now, but if enough interest occurs or a lot of people, I say we take it up to the stores and politicians and get this shit banned. Let’s end technology that aids a recession!

I Think Your Brain Got Abducted

I want to apologize, it has been really crazy between school, being involved in the Vagina Monologues, and a death at my school in the past few weeks. And my prayers are continuously with the family, friends, teammates, coaches, etc. of Krista Turnbull. Thank you.

A few weeks ago (at this point) on a Sunday, this lady comes in with her two girls, about seven and ten, roughly.  I ring up a box of cereal, and she goes “Isn’t that $2.99?” I look and it’s a smaller size than what she had. Before I even find another bagger (my bagger is kind of slow, no offense, but it would’ve taken him forever to get it.) She huffs off, under her breath to the customer behind her “I don’t want to leave my kids here” and goes gets the cereal, which is literally right near my register.

She comes back and tells her girls “Sorry girls, I didn’t want to leave you, but if you got abducted, it wouldn’t be my fault.”

WHAT?!?!

Excuse me?

First of all, if you had waited two seconds, I could’ve gotten somebody else to get you your damn cereal. Secondly, if you knew how to read, you would’ve grabbed the right box. Thirdly, your kids aren’t going to get abducted. Where the fuck did that come from? And finally, if you felt that this Stop and Shop is supposedly “unsafe” then why the fuck are you bringing your children here? And I think you’re kids are old and capable enough to be able to handle their own for a minute. Jeez, talk about overprotective. Give it a rest.

So she was rude to me the rest of the time, and then complained to a new manager that I just met that day. Great, way to go.

Her complaint? That I gave her an attitude, and she felt this store wasn’t safe because of the bad neighborhood. Okay, since when did East Longmeadow become a bad neighborhood? It’s an upperclass area first of all, and yea, we get the scumbags and whatnot of Springfield, so what? Doesn’t make them dangerous. And not all are scumbags. So whatever, I got “talked to”. Get over it.

If anyone was rude, it was her. I was trying to help;  she can get over herself. Whatever.

A couple of nights ago, I was ringing when two of my customers, back to back no lie, came in with cell phones and talked the entire time from start to finish. I was pissed.  Turn off your fucking phone, I don’t want to hear you bitch when your shit is rung up wrong because you aren’t paying attention. Two people back to back.

And as if I wasn’t already annoyed, this lady in the line behind me had the nerve to grab the bags next to me. I promptly move the bag thing closer so no one else would take them. Then she goes “Oh, she must be mad at me because I took her bags. Sorry.”

Why are you telling my other coworkers? Why don’t you politely come over and say I’m sorry. First of all, if you want to take bags you ask. Secondly, if you do that, one it’s rude because there are bags at your register. Use the bags at the register you’re at unless they ran out. Two, if you do that as well, if I suddenly turn around because I don’t expect people to be stealing my shit from behind me, and I hit you because I turned, it’s your own fucking stupidity.  I hope to hit a customer by accident because they are stupid enough to come up behind me.

Then two nights ago I had this older lady and her older daughter come in. Well, they had some bloody meat (which pisses me off, stick the fucking meat in a bag if it’s dripping, how do you not notice, and also, why would you pick a nasty piece of meat?) and she is like ew it’s dripping. (Well duh.) So I had to wipe my belts, apparently missed a spot so the bag of bread landed in some of the blood, which we wiped off. So I had two baggers at this point, and I’m waiting for her card to process. So we are all talking, Andy one  of the Deli workers is waiting to have his break food rung up and the guy behind him goes “Are we in business?”

I said “Yea, I’m just waiting for her card to go through” and the lady I’m processing goes in a nasty voice “There are other registers you could go through, I am paying right now. See, 13, 14, 15 …..” She takes her receipt and leaves, and I apologized to the man who she was being rude to. He was like “Would she shutup if I threw her a $100 bill?”

Like wow.  Seriously?

So last night, I had a really bad day, and to top it off, my can of soda I bring to work to save money somehow got punctured and blew up in my back pack. I went upstairs to clean up my backpack (so happy it didn’t land on anything important) but I had to buy a soda for my break.

Then this is what made my night.

An obvious (not quite out there, but noticeable) pregnant (underage) girl walks through my line with a pregnancy test. Hmm really? I’m sorry sweetie, how can you not notice that you are in fact PREGNANT? Don’t you look in the mirror once in awhile? Take a shower, wash yourself? The baby should probably be starting to kick at this point?

WOW.  I didn’t say anything but I was half tempted to tell her there was a free clinic she could go to to get tested, even though it was quite obvious. Also, I talked to one of my other coworkers, and apparently she was with a guy who used to work at our store, and quite.  She was telling someone else “Isn’t he hot?” So he is probably the child’s father. The worse part is, he is older than me, and I’m 23. I know she has to be no older than 16. Way to go. She looked about somewhere between 3-5 months along. Oy vey.

I will soon post some pics that I will comment on about signs in our store. One of them really pisses me off. When I can take a picture without being obvious, I will put them up.

Telechecks and Stupid People Don’t Mix

I hate this stupid Telecheck thing. Before I came home for break, my East Longmeadow Store started it, and my last few days before I go back to Springfield the Seekonk store got it too. I fucking hate it.

It takes longer and wastes more paper than ever, because now people have to sign a slip that’s longer than the check when processing a check, and then the customer keeps the check and receipt. Like so stupid.  Then, so far I haven’t had any rejected checks, but I am waiting for the day. The problem with Telecheck is that if you bounced a check say at Walmart or Advanced Autoparts or whatever, your check will be denied at Stop and Shop now. It happened to my mom the other day, the lady screamed at her several times and each time we explained to her it was a new system and we needed to figure out what to do. It was $20 worth of stuff and a check is all she had. Well, not our problem nor do we care. I hate these people that bring one form of payment. It’s so stupid. If you’re going to have only one form of payment on you, make it cash and plenty of it for what you need. I’ve never in my life ever have just one form of payment on me ever. All my debit and credit cards and cash and checks are with me at all times, so God forbid (I’ve had a card not work once on me for some reason) I have plenty of backups.  Except when working, I always carry a card I haven’t used that day so I’m not over my limit, or cash, or both cash and card, or two cards. Always. I don’t understand these people at all.

Some lady two nights ago attempted to steal $70 worth of stuff. She had one of those easy scan it’s and a green bag. She apparently told security to let her go she didn’t do anything. A lady and male cop were upstairs with her for over an hour. Good job. She had to be late twenties early thirties.

In case people wondered what happens to people who steal at my store (and don’t attempt people please, because I do help security catch people and I will come after you, I have no problem with that) here’s the deal.

It depends on what you steal and your excuse and how you handle it.  If it’s a lot of stuff and your hostile, you go to jail on the spot. If it’s alot but you confess, you are let go and then you go to court. Sometimes it’s severe enough you sign  paper saying you will not be allowed in the store again for the rest of your life, or for a short time period. It depends on the store and the situation, as other stores have similar policies.  Sometimes you are just let go and reprimanded. I’ve seen all ages steal, we had kids once in the Seekonk store steal while the parents were checking out in my line, and they were upstairs in security while the poor parents had no idea. It was their teenage daughter and younger son stealing dvd’s and cd’s. The parents were so upset they didn’t know that’s what their kids were up to. We’ve caught older people, including employees. We had one employee steal dvd’s and cd’s for a while, because she never had enough money to buy her grandchildren presents. She got caught in the new store with the new cameras. The old store it was harder because technology wasn’t great, but they were suspicious of her. She actually got hit by a car over a year ago and killed. Poor thing. She was a sweetheart despite the fact.

Back to Telechecks. I hate them.

I had a couple in my line yesterday, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.  They used the Easy Scanner (oh how I hate those things) and the lady wanted to know if the bagels were $3.99 or $3.19, because one had one price the other one the other price. I looked at the thing and it’s $3.19 Unit Price. And then her husband explained to her and she didn’t get it still so I was like okay I will take it off. So I take it off with the scan gun because it would be easier. Then she is like what are you doing and I’m like I’m taking it off. Then I tried to take off the other bagel, and it doesn’t work and they were like yea we scanned one we just want one then. I’m like what the hell can’t you people say shit before I stand there wasting time?

So I was like fuck this ended the order thing, scanned their card in and then put the bagels in again and sweet potatoes and the wife was like what are you doing and the husband had to explain this to her again. I’m if you don’t know what you’re doing put the fucking shit on the belt, screw the fucking easy scan it and quit fucking annoying me. URGH!

So then after we finish the bullshit then they handed me a check. So as it was processing I told the husband he’s signing a paper now and I will hand him back his check. After I processed it all the the wife goes “why are they giving you back the check” which the husband explains Telecheck, and she was like I should’ve just used a debit card. THEN WHY DON’T YOU YOU ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT QUIT FUCKING ANNOYING ME!!!!!!

Then I had this other couple driving me nuts. I ring up the order and I almost finished and she was like did you get the bags I’m like no (because they were driving me nuts with things like the other couple was). She bought Dr. Pepper and she was like it’s 10 for $10 and I said no because it’s not a Coke product. She was like why is it over there? Because it’s on sale too? Duh?! Then so whatever we did that, and then her stupid raincheck wouldn’t work, so had to do that. Then she hands me these coupons. What the fuck?! One of the coupons was for a free Dr. Pepper. Why did you bitch about the damn fucking price when you’re getting shit for free? What the hell is wrong with you? It was like the lady with the turkey near Thanksgiving.  Then we had an arguement over a coupon for Mac and Cheese. The coupon said buy Mac and Cheese 5 pack AND the Jello. She was like the Jello pack is in there (it was, but that’s not the point). Ma’am it’s buy the Mac and Cheese AND Jello, you have to buy BOTH things. She decided not to get it.

People need to take some serious English classes. The word “AND” is a conjunction, which means to things are put together with ONE word. If it said $2 off this package of Mac n Cheese WITH the Jello pack, it would be fine. But it’s this AND this, which means TWO ITEMS. People complain about people not speaking English, I don’t know why they are bitching when they can’t even UNDERSTAND it. I’m an English major, I know the difference between “AND” and “WITH”. God.

My mom had this couple who needed an audit, and while I was doing it some of their items rejected. They assumed if they bought same brand different type products same price and scan one a few times it was okay. I’m like no because you have to scan all items one for inventory and two for if you need to return something and three when using Easy Scan if you get audited you could get in trouble for stealing if they didn’t know you did that. That’s why. If we at the registers have to scan individual things then you do too at Easy Scan and Self Scan. Morons.

I’m God with a Gaydar

Oh updates updates….fun times.

So yesterday I had this lady come through my line with a whole chicken, and I noticed the tag was ripped off it. So I asked the lady if she knew how much a pound it was, and she had no idea she thought “I can look it up”. If I could look up every fucking item that had no barcode or price per pound I would need a gigantic book or something and it would be the size of the fucking store itself. Aggravated as naturally I would be, I sent a bagger to find out the price somehow. So all my customers had to wait. So after she left, I told the next lady I had that apparently people think I’m God and I can perform miracles when it comes to knowing things, like prices and whatnot. She goes “If you are, I have two requests.”

HAHA.

So a few days earlier, I was at a register near self scan (not 14, thank God, the register directly next to self scan) and I’m ringing this couple up, who are apparently staring at this guy who dyed his hair flaming red. So after I’m done, the guy goes, “Question. Do you have good gaydar?” “Umm, I’m guess?” “We are trying to figure out if that guy over there is gay.” I turned around and looked at the guy. “Could go both ways, I guess.” “Good, we were trying to figure that out because it was driving us nuts.”

Sure pal whatever, gaydar isn’t a real thing, but sure. For those of you who may not know what “gaydar” is, it’s a term used to find out gay people with a supposed “radar” people have to guess, or otherwise known as “gaydar”.

Then two days ago, some lady with a four year old boy tried to steal $780 worth of stuff. The poor kid was confused, and the woman had the nerve to say she would pay for it. Apparently her story was that she was stealing stuff to sell to get money to pay for her tooth operation her insurance wouldn’t pay for. Brilliant.

Then I had this lady come through with a lot of markdown stuff, and she was in the way. In the middle of me ringing out someone else, she comes up to me and asks if we have discounted papers. Yes lady, we sell day old papers to go with the day old bread. What the hell? No, get out of my face. It’s called a library, use it.

This poor couple that comes through my line twice in one week has major issues. The first time they came through my line they had a paper plate issue. (Price wise) Then they had an issue with their card or something. We were joking around that I was a curse becaues everytime they come through my line something bad happens. My bad.

Yesterday was fucking terrible. I hate when the weatherman says “snow”. Every time we get a forecast of snow, the fucking lines are out to timbucktoo. Deli orders for the kiosk alone was up to 200 by 6:30pm. No carriages whatsoever. ANYWHERE.

There were other funny incidents but I can’t remember. I’ll have to write them later.

Happy Hellidays and Funny Kids

Oh people are so joyous at this time of the year. I had some interesting customers to say the least.

Last week I was ringing up this guy, and behind him was a father and son. Well, the son helped bag for the guy, and I looked at the kid funny but didn’t say anything. The guy suddenly looked over and realized it wasn’t a bagger helping gave him a funny look, but thanked him for bagging. Meanwhile, the father of the child is in a daze and snaps out to see his son bag for the guy. He makes a face and shakes his head laughing. So I checked the guy out and then he left. So then as I am ringing out the father and son, the son goes “Dad, look what he gave me!” We look over and he had a few dollar bills in his hand. “Did you thank the man? Go thank him!” “Too late dad he is already gone.” “Well” I said, “If you see him out the parking lot make sure you thank him.” The father goes “I thought I’ve seen it all, apparently not.”

A kid the day before decided to have fun at the lottery machine. In our store near the service desk is self serve scratch tickets, and this kid runs from his father and heads over to the lottery machine. I figured the father knew what he was doing, so even though kids aren’t supposed to do this, I wasn’t surprised the kid was playing with the lottery machine trying to get tickets. It wasn’t until I saw a bunch of lottery tickets in his hand that I said something to his father, who turned around and ripped the tickets out of the kids hand and yelled at him. The poor kid was terrified, and the father asked him why he did it. “Well, ’so and so’ does it.” And the father goes, “Well, he isn’t supposed to do it either. You’re not old enough, I could get in trouble. You have to be 18 to do that.” Poor dad. I wished him luck that he would win.

I didn’t say anything because I know parents these days. Parents let their kids scratch the cards, sometimes pick them out or buy them at the  machines, the parents cash them in and give them money. If the father really paid attention to his kid instead of yelling at him to come over here and then ignore him, then, you know?

Then Nick came in my line a week ago with a bag of charcoal and some other stuff, and I was like “Are you using that charcoal for coal?” He said yea and I’m like “put that away, I have real coal if you want a gag gift.” “Really?!” Yes put that away…

So the next day I gave Nick a grocery bag of coal, and Adelia stole a piece of coal for her step-daughter, I think. I’m not sure who it was for but it was for someone in her family.  Nick was so happy for the coal. I found out later that he was using the coal to put on top of a gift card so his father would have to dig through it. I told Nick I want pictures, a video and reaction to the coal. He told his mom and was wondering where the hell I had coal. He told her that my family used to have a coal stove to heat the house and we got rid of it when I was a baby. So the old coal has been sitting there for about 23 years.

Speaking of Nick’s mom, she came in my line for the first time ever since our fallout with the word “hun”. I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, but Nick’s mother came in my line irritated after an incident that happened with Nick. I said “thanks hun” after she handed me her card, and she goes “DON’T CALL ME HUN! I AM NOT YOUR HUN!” I was like “jeez sorry” (I do call everyone hun) and then I accidently said it again and she yells at me again “DON’T CALL ME HUN I AM NOT YOUR HUN!” So since then she actually avoids my line, like one of the girls noticed it one day when she almost walked in my line and then turned and walked to another line. So anyways, I was nervous, because the only reason why she was in my line is because I was taking over for Carmella because she was leaving and his mom was already in my line. She made me so nervous. I made sure I didn’t call her hun and was uber polite. She seemed to get irritated near the end and I just wanted her to leave. Then she gave Missy a hug. I am like “ok, sure”.

Then I had a couple of idiots. I hate gift cards, particularly when they buy in multiples or those stupid Visa/Mastercard/American Express ones.  I had this one guy who wanted a receipt for each gift card. I’m like you had to tell me that before. “Can I return them and rebuy them” No, because we don’t do returns on gift cards.

Then I had this other idiot who apparently slid his debit card and then had a gift card, but because the card was already at the end and I assumed he slid his card. So he finished up and he goes, “I’m using a gift card too.” I’m like “you already paid, I assumed you slid that first, I don’t know what you people put through until afterwards.” “Well, can we refund and redo the transaction? I don’t want it all on my card.” “I don’t think we can do anything about it” “Well get me a manager”

Because the idiot put it as debit, we couldn’t do anything for him. He was pissed. I’m like what do you want me to do? I don’t do anything but push a button for all card transactions, it’s up to you to know, or ask me if you don’t, and always tell me you have a gift card that you are going to use, so I can make sure it goes through. Stupid stupid people.  Not my fucking problem.

I had other stories but I’m blanking out, so when I remember them I’ll write a new post or update this one. I just have to post this because certain people (ahem) are pissed I haven’t updated in a while. Sorry, busy and not enough interesting things to say.

I “Gobble” Thee Not

Oh My God. If my customers could be any stupider. Yes I know it’s not a word, and no I do not care.

My day on Saturday was horrible. I rang up my first customer, and she handed me cash, in which I quickly discovered that I had no drawer. No CDH around, I went to the service desk and found out that the lady behind the desk hadn’t put in all the drawers. Mind you it is 10:30am and those drawers should’ve been out before I even arrived. I won’t even go there.

I never want to see another fucking turkey ever again.

I get a customer who handed me a flyer for Big Y. No problem, but I didn’t have the number to take of the difference in price. (We accept competitor coupons and flyers for one turkey per customer.) So I had to be shown that (since it’s been a while) and that was all set. The next customer had a coupon for $5 off a Butterball turkey from Big Y. I had to ask, and found out we take them, so I put hers through.

Then I get this check from Butterball. I didn’t think about it right away, but I realize it’s been a while so I wanted to double check on the procedure. So I asked Hope and she goes, “well she has to have a Butterball I believe.” So I went back to the lady and told her what I was told. She was like “no, I do this every year. Doesn’t matter.” So I went back to Hope and told her what she said, who referred to Dennis, who said just let it go through. But, I had to take off the price the turkey was, not the whole $15 because it was under $15. So I went back and told her I will give it to her for free but can’t take the $15 only the $9.85 that it’s worth.

Well, she goes “I will just go to a store that knows how to do this.”

She paid for the turkey.

You dumb idiot. First of all, you were getting the damn turkey for free. Secondly, I can’t just give you $15 off your order, that’s not how it works. It wasn’t a coupon for $15 off you next order. It was a check “technically” for a fucking Butterball. Get a damn Butterball that is slightly over $15, or close enough, pay the fucking difference or get it free depending on the turkey, and get the fucking hell out of my store. You paid for a fucking free turkey. Dumbass.

Then I have the brightest of coworkers. One of my coworkers Nick was bagging for me, and we were talking about my minor in Philosophy. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Yea, so I decided to minor in Philosophy.

Nick: Isn’t that like poetry or something?

Me: No, it’s the study of thinking about morals and stuff, like is abortion right or not? And it’s not meant to find direct answers rather to make you be open minded and question stuff.

Nick: Oh, I thought it was poetry by a guy named “soccer” something.

Me: Soccer something? I believe you mean Socrates. And Aristotle was another philosopher.

Customer: The study of poetry and soccer something. You guys made my night. (Laughs)

Today I had an older lady who doesn’t seem to have anything inside the noggin. She comes up with one of those foil tins of salad bar and a top, and she’s like “how do you shut this?” I’m like you fold the foil over the plastic. Like duh.

Oh what really pissed me off today. I hate you fucking people, who think that you should put your body in my space where I stand so you can move your carriage by and then move forward.

This isn’t a club where people rub up against you and bump and grind. Quit fucking doing that. Stop being a lazy fatass, walk forward and push your carriage to the end, then walk back. Don’t be getting in my space. I don’t like it when you touch me and it’s my space.

And the same shit applies when taking bags from another register. Quit fucking doing that. You are at that particular register you ask for bags, quit fucking grabbing them from the register or while I’m ringing in the bags in front of me. Oh and trash too. I almost knocked out a lady once because she was trying to throw out some garbage from behind me. Don’t do that I will hurt you. And one of these days intentionally too.

Which reminds me of another incident. On Saturday this older guy comes in and tries to swipe his card. Well, I stopped him and held out my hand to hand it to me, because I think it’s rude to scan your own card when I’m trying to ring up your stuff. You hand that shit to me.

So he got mad and put his card away. I’m like what the fuck? So I ring up a store card, and he’s like did I get my savings and I told him I put a card in for him. His wife is like “just pay for the food hun” and he’s like it’s cold and flu season and he trails off. Then he uses his own pen to sign the slip and I gave him an annoyed “have a nice day”.

It’s called Purell folks, or soap and water. It’s fine if you have your own pen, but first of all I just touched your food, and bagged your food. And your going to be nit picky about something stupid as me scanning your card? If you want to scan your own card that’s what self scans are for. I don’t like it when people do it because again it’s my fucking personal space. I’m short and my boobs are there okay? Hand me your fucking card. Again I’m gonna touch all your groceries and touch the bags that they go in. So get over it. No need to fuss about that shit. Stop being in my personal space. Fuck heads.

Naturally, as of yesterday I got a cold. The fucking guy cursed me.

No Politics Allowed

This post is dedicated to the lady who claimed Obama is a socialist.

First of all, in any situation, but particularly in a workplace or when dealing with people, the TWO topics you NEVER TALK ABOUT are POLITICS and RELIGION.

Since the election, I come across customers who love to talk about politics, (which I don’t bring up unless a customer starts talking to me about it) even if the discussion doesn’t even start that way.

For example, before the election, I was having a conversation about how this is my second time voting and I got my absentee ballot, which I was upset about (see Voting Isn’t Free on my issue with that), and that is all I was talking about with the customer. No candidates just like the voting process and shit like that. Well, then the woman had the nerve to ask me who I was voting for. Most people say mind your own business, but me not giving a shit, I told her I voted for Obama. Well, she went off on this rant how McCain is better and I should do more research on him. No, I did enough on both candidates thank you. Secondly, Sarah Palin is the biggest fucking idiot I’ve ever seen on this planet. While I respect McCain, he just had a lot going against him and felt that Obama was the better choice. Mind you I’m a registered Independent, but so far in the past two elections I’ve voted Democrat. So far.

She literally kept talking. Not yelling but kept talking while I’m ringing out other customers. Like just go away I don’t want to hear you. I did the whole nod and “uh huh” thing. She finally left.

Then after the election, this guy was complaining about the food prices, and I said “well, gas is going down, so things are looking better” and he goes “no, because we have a President who is going to give money to bums and tax the rich people”. Then he told me I was smart after saying we talk about issues like that in Philosophy and said I’m entertaining (and soon to be official) that I’m going to minor in Philosophy. He said we need more people with brains.

I didn’t get into him that Obama is only raising taxes to get rid of the debt we incrued from this war, and the fact we still owe Japan money from the war years ago. The taxes are going to be minor, like a percent or two, not his “huge” amount everyone is fearing. And these supposed “people who don’t pay taxes” people forget that includes children, which under 18 if working do not get taxed, the people who are retired, and disabled, which include this 40% that McCain was trying to say that people don’t pay taxes.  I hate to say how many supposed “bums” don’t pay taxes, which is a crock of bull. Unless you live in DC or New Hampshire, everyone pays taxes.  Did people forget about state and city taxes when purchasing items, like toilet paper or sometimes food and cars and what not? Or did we forget that includes in taxes that the government collects? So if a child buys a candy bar at CVS, which is taxed (not in a grocery store), the child just paid tax. So duh?!

I never say anything to people who bring up politics, because otherwise I would yell, get mad, try to choke them or some other way of taking out my frustration on them. I smile, nod and walk away.

Another regular customer brought up how Obama associates with people, particularly Ayers. I’ve had conversations with him before, so I tried to sway him by making him think about what he was saying, because sometimes he says ignorant things. I find it interesting the things he says, because he’s Jewish, and I have nothing against Jews (considering that I am part Jewish and my stepfather is a Jew) but I could easily turn the tables on him, which I don’t. Well not in a bad way. I sometimes use his heritage to make him think, and he comes around and says yea I understand. I don’t blame the poor guy for his beliefs but sometimes the information he spits out at me is wrong and ignorant in a sense that he misses the big picture. So in kind ways I make him think about things he says sometimes. And it works. I make him do research and stuff on things he doesn’t think about sometimes. If anything I gave that man something to think about even if he doesn’t agree with me still.

Then today, while ringing up this lady, she brought up politics again. “We have a socialist for a President. I hope he does okay, but I’m worried that we will become like Nazi’s. Adolf Hitler was a Socialist and that’s how the Nazi’s formed.”

Okay lady, first of all, Obama is not Hitler. People today are not that damned stupid to buy that kind of crap. I highly doubt that Obama is going to force people to create genocide within our country, and kill a certain type of people. If you hadn’t noticed, McCain was the one to do the whole “fight, fight fight” shit, which fighting leads to injury or death. Obama is the peace maker. Secondly, we were a Nazi nation at one point. It’s called George Bush. We listened and bought his lies and misinformation and the country is in a shithole right now, him taking most of the blame along with others who aided him in this process. If you are going to compare Obama to anything, compare him to Ghandi or Jesus or something else. Buddha for all I fucking care.

The more she talked the more I wanted to strangle her. It took her forever to go away. I didn’t say a damn word to her. I didn’t even bring up the topic or invite the discussion. God.

I am done with politics. Stop bringing them up, especially if you are those idiots who bought the media bullshit from either party, Democrat or Republican, and watch Fox News. In fact, I want people who watch Fox News, to watch OutFoxed the movie. You will never listen to Fox News again. It is the most bias newstation ever, and purposely leaves out information, and strings opinion with fact to make it sound the same. If you dare bring up topics, it better be about issues or Obama, or reform. Or what are we going to do and how can we make our country better. Or don’t even talk about it.  I don’t want to hear your misinformed rants. Okay? Thank you.

We will now go back to our regular program.