When you actually say something intelligent to me, I will talk to you

First and foremost I want to apologize my readers for not being updated for a few days. My father passed away so I’m dealing with a lot of crap right now. But I do have things to share so here we go.

On Sunday I was ringing up an order this guy had. He had pushed the carriage blocking the entrance to my register and I kept looking at him while ringing and looking at the carriage. Then this lady pushing a carriage and holding a baby struggles moving the carriage in the way to get to my line. I said “Sorry ma’am, some people are rude and don’t put their carriages away.” The guy crumpled up his receipt and threw it on my counter and left. What an asshole.

Then there was this hairy guy with his shirt partially open, which is really disturbing in more ways than one.

Then I had a lady pay for her order in cash and then the rest on her debit card, which then my drawer opened because she asked for cash back, which I promptly handed her part of the cash she gave me. How fucking stupid are you? I don’t think people have any idea how often I get this.

Then I get this family of two brothers, about 4 and 6 years old and their mother. While ringing my bagger was trying to bag but the 4 year old kept getting in the way. The mother told him to move quite a few times. Then this happened.

Younger brother: But I want to help!

Older brother: It’s called “getting in the way”

Mother and I started chuckling.

Then later I had some dude sign his credit card slip in Arabic, which was interesting. I’ve had people sign in Chinese or Japanese or whatever, but never in Arabic.

Then I had this lady who was using her EBT card (I explained EBT in an earlier post) and she kept using the cash part. Problem is that she didn’t have enough on her cash part, but plenty of food, but wanted cashback. She was like “I have $300″ and let me listen to her balance. I said you need to pay food stamps with food because you don’t have enough cash to cover the food part and get cash back. She was a pain in the ass. Then she told me she hit the wrong one once the food stamps went through on the food part. No, you didn’t. If you want cash back just buy one food item and do it that way, there’s no connection between food and cash it’s not combined. Damn.

Then yesterday I had this coupon guy. He’s known for bringing a shitload of coupons, and isn’t even allowed back at the CVS on Taunton Ave anymore because of it. He wasn’t allowed at our store until Vinod left. Most of the time his coupons are legit but he brings a shitload at a time and it gets time consuming and annoying. Well yesterday he pulled crap on me as he didn’t have enough of a particular item for a few of his coupons. After rejecting the 3rd or 4th coupon he goes “you don’t like me today”. It’s not that you moron you need to read the amount on the coupon. People try to play with me with words too, like “a dollar off two packs or cartons of whatever” means you need two of something. If the coupon said “a dollar off two or one carton” then I can use it off the one carton

Then I had this guy, and this was a kicker, because I get picked on for my name all the time. But this dude was serious.

Customer: “Why does it say the month it is now on your nametag?” (being serious)

Me: “That’s my name”

Customer: “Oh”

Derrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Then I had this lady who asked for a rubber band for her cherries. Mind you her cherries in a ziplock bag. That wasn’t broken. So she got a new one with a zipper thing on it, and it took her so long I had the rest of her groceries scanned and packed by the time she got back.

I finally get to go on break, and this African dude approaches me.

Guy: Where are you open?

Me: I’m on break. The registers open are the ones with lights on.

Guy: There’s none open here.

Me: There’s some over there (pointing behind me as I keep walking away from him)

Guy: Thank you!

I then make the “stupid” gesture as I’m on break and I don’t answer stupid questions.

This was the best part of the night. These two ladies walk in and buy pluots (plums/apricots, a crossbreed fruit).

Lady 1: What is that?

Me: Pluots.

Lady 1:What? I thought they were plums.

Me: They are. It’s a crossbreed of plums and apricots.

Both ladies start giggling.

Lady 2: Is it good?
Me: It’s been a while since I had it, but I can’t see why not.

Ladies can’t get over the pluots.