Run…but you can’t hide

I love thieves. They are absolutely amazing people.

It was pretty uneventful, just extremely busy for a Sunday night, except for Miss Haagen Daz Lady.

Two nights ago, my mom and sister were working, when Nadine came up to my mom about this lady. Apparently, this woman wanted to buy an air conditioner, and when Nadine went to help her, she goes “shouldn’t you have a man do that?”. Now mind you, Nadine is a CNA, which means she lifts patients all day. She is no way in any shape or form a weakling, and she’s no feminist, but that pissed her off. (If it were me I would’ve chewed this bitch’s head off, as I would’ve said quite a few things, like I’m a feminist, I played football and wrestling and did all this supposed “manly” shit, so, yea anyways…) So Nadine goes and finds Tony, and she hopes that Tony drops it just to prove a point.

So as she is telling my mom this, my mom notices her by the paper aisle, eating a box of Haagen Daz ice cream bars. My mom is paying attention to make sure she pays for it. So she comes through my mom’s line, and decides not to get the air conditioner after all that trouble. So eventually she paid for the Haagen Daaz, but it was the last thing she put up. The woman ate 3 out of 4 bars, each about 200-300 calories each, give or take. She said she was going to come back the next night to get the air conditioner.

The woman never showed up yesterday, but came through my line instead today. I get her and I noticed the Haagen Daz bars, half eaten. Of course the woman doesn’t think I know who she is, but she didn’t have an air conditioner, so I guess she wasn’t going to get it. (because she doesn’t know that my mom told me the story and that we are related…hehe). So I ring up her order, and today she ate 2 out of 4 Haagen Daz . After I rang her up, she goes, “can I leave my stuff by the bathroom, I got to go” and I said of course. So she goes to the bathroom, and she didn’t pay for the newspaper either, but I figured she would put it back, she kept giving me a hard time that she had “part of a paper”. So, you still have to pay for it whether you read the whole thing or not. So I tell Mike the manager this, and he goes “what, you want me to beat her up?” I’m like “no, but..” Whatever.

Next thing I know Ashley comes up to me and goes “Did that woman buy that air conditioner?” I turned and I said “no” and Ashley chases after her.

Smooth move. What the woman did from what I figured out is that she went to the “bathroom” and she had stored the air conditioner in the hallway near the bathroom, and on her way out with the groceries she paid for she took the carriage with the air conditioner in it too. She gave Ashley a hard time and she told her she paid for it. Ashley checked the receipt she had and showed her she didn’t buy it. So she said she was coming back tomorrow to get it.

Good luck lady, as all of them are working tomorrow night too. So good luck on trying to steal because we aren’t stupid and we all talk. And I work in the morning to afternoon so if she comes earlier I can catch her again too. I hope security is on tomorrow as we are going to have an arrest soon. Yay! Watching stupid customers getting arrested is funny.

It reminds me of other times people try to steal. I remember a story a coworker told me one time. This guy was trying to steal meat, and he stuck a steak underneath his hat and was on his way out the door. The problem was that the meat was bleeding, so it was going all over the guys face. People were trying to stop him because “blood” was pouring off him. He kept insisting he was okay, but workers were concerned so they detained him and called an ambulance. Well they figured out he was trying to steal a steak, and instead he got arrested. That must of been one hell of a mug shot if they didn’t clean him up.

I’m sure there are other stories, but too tired right now to write about it.